Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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