Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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