i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize