I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
