We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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