I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
