Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
