Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize