Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
