no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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