Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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