Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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