i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
