sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize