I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
