sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
