i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
