Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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