He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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