Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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