just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
