i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
