Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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