so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
