what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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