I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
