he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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