Everything about him screamed your future.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
