Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
