we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
