is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
