omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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