In the future we'll all be gay
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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