new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
