They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
