fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
