I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
