Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
