Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
