the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
