at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
