i already hear my dad disowning me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
