He kissed a someone with a penis
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
