I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
