i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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