I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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