If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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