I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
