well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
