she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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