Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize