Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
