I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
