idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
