Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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