how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
