Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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