Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
