Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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