I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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