is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
