Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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