is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
