Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
