i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
