oh god the rape fog is back!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
