apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
