she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
