I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to stop coming to work sober
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
