He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also, beer. Big fan.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
